Dating Financial Infidelity Red Flags


How is your partner's money game?

As you know all hopefully know by now: it’s all about harmonizing your relationship with money.  You know how to stay calm, clear your mind and gain laser focus through rituals like meditation and yoga.  You have regular short-term and long-term goal setting strategies and you allocate your time and money to meet them.  If you’ve listened to my talk with Danielle M. Holdman you know what I’m talking about.  You’re on a path to a more fulfilling life. Don’t let financial infidelity put a strain on your relationship

But what about your partner?  Are they with you?

Money is something couples argue over most.  It can cause tremendous stress, bitter fights and can lead to the end of the relationships due to financial infidelity.  Even if your date is fun, charming and cute as hell, they can derail your future plans if they’re not on the same page as you financially.

OK, so maybe this isn’t first date discussion material, but here are some red flags to look out for so that you steer your relationship on a course towards fulfillment, and avoid unnecessary stress, bitterness and frustration.

Their Job Doesn’t Match Their Lifestyle

Authenticity is attractive, no doubt.  It provides trust and credibility.  When it comes to lifestyle there is no exception.  It may not be the first thing you think of, but is your partner working in a way that’s congruent to their lifestyle?

For example, there is nothing wrong if your love is working a whatever retail job, but saving aggressively to start their own business, buy a house or go back to school.  There might be something wrong if they’re working the same job, but spending the majority of their paycheck on a luxury car payment, VIP club nights and designer clothes.

To be clear, you and your significant other deserve nice things.  But if they’re spending loads of cash without thinking of the future, or buying things they can’t afford—it could lead to trouble down the road.

They Don’t Have a Credit Card

Building and having good credit can save you tons of money.  It can open doors when it comes to big expenses like buying a house, car or getting a business off the ground.  Solid credit card management shows responsibility and reliability—not to mention the travel points can save you money on a romantic getaway.

If your partner doesn’t have a credit card, it might be worth asking why.  Also, if they need to borrow a card to reserve a hotel room, car or flight—something might be up.

Not that you need to break up with someone just because they’ve made mistakes in the past, but be aware that if a lack of responsibility with money can lead to a lack of credibility.  That can become very unattractive in the future.

They Have a Constant Need to Impress Others

Put simply: generosity is attractive; neediness and insecurity aren’t.  When your partner treats others, take a minute to think where the kindness is coming from.

For example, if your partner just got a promotion and wants to treat everyone to dinner out of a feeling of abundance, there is nothing wrong with that.  However, if he or she is footing the bill because they don’t think people will like them otherwise—there might be a problem.    

Always Wanting to Meet for Drinks or Happy Hour

Everyone has rough days at work, and many want to blow off some steam over drinks with friends and colleagues.  And from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that.

However, going out for drinks all the time can lead to two problems: 1) it can rack up a huge bill and 2) it can cloud your mind and slow down your professional and fitness goals.

Being able to delay gratification has been cited as a biggest key to success—higher even than IQ.  If your partner is putting drinking and immediate fun over long-term plans, it is probably worth thinking about.  Is your partner on the same page as you for actualizing future dreams?  Or are they just looking to keep clocking out and hitting the bar.

The Bottom Line

Chances are you want a partner, and having one that is as ambitious and goal-oriented as you are can make life more fun and simple.  You don’t need them to be a penny-pincher or an ultra-rigid-never-have-any-fun-accountant-type, but taking the time to discuss finance and making sure you both have a similar financial vision can give you a more stress free life and help you reach your goals faster.

Strive to manifest your dreams together and don’t be afraid to cut loses if you don’t have the same picture of the future or you discover that financial infidelity is in play.


About: Dr. Roshawnna Novellus, known as the Wealthy Yogi, is a mindful wealth multiplier, business strategist, and author Budgeting is More Liberation than Limitation. She has developed a 5-step blueprint for mindful money management to show any entrepreneur how to create a stress free wealthy lifestyle. Through her books, programs and retreats, she has helped thousands of entrepreneurs achieve intentional personal success.


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